J. Michael Thurman

Do we?  Really?  Even in the Church?

I have noticed what I fear is a reality that breaks my heart.  Wherever people gather, it seems that at least one person wants to "increase his or her personal power and prestige."(Note 1)  It happens even among Jesus’ disciples…both in the 1st Century and in the 21st Century.  More’s the pity.

Many of us know "pushy people."  I’m not concerned about people who are assertive or just loud.  I am concerned about people among us who are actively abusive…verbally and psychologically.  Who knew that one could attend a committee meeting at a church and be verbally abused…even bullied?

Conflict…  Disagreement… Rigorous debate… These can all be constructive when they occur in the right place, at the right time, in the right relational framework and in the right spirit…er…with a right Spirit…er Holy Spirit, that is.  Remove any of those elements and the result can be anything from mildly damaging to catastrophic. 

Such damaging conversations occur far too often.  They occur at work.  They occur at sporting events.  They occur at home.  They even occur at church.  I remember  a sermon that I heard sometime in the early 1990’s about our attitudes and words and the impact they have on our families.  One of the points made that day struck me as sad…because it was both necessary and true.  We most often save our harsh words and our forceful conflicts for those we claim to love.

Frankly, if I claim to care about you and I frequently speak harshly to you (or worse), you’d be right to doubt my claim.  If I claim to care about you and I frequently start arguments with you, you’d be right to doubt my claim.  If I bully you, verbally or physically, you’d be right to know that I am a liar. 

Kindness, love, and consideration should be the norm within our families.  They should also be the norm within our churches, especially among more spiritually mature disciples.  How do I know?

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (Jn. 13:35, NIV)

If Jesus’ followers…er…disciples…that is, members of the Christian Church will be known by this one characteristic, then one important question remains:

ARE WE?

Blessings,

1. Thanks for this phrase go to Dr. David Krueger, a history professor at Arkansas Tech University."